Here lately I have been very anxious about how some things in my life are going to play out. I don't know why I dwell so much on things that have yet to happen, but, I do. Come to think of it, I have always kind of done this. I can remember being in high school thinking, "If I could just see myself 10 years from now, and know how things are going to turn out, I'll be fine." However I look at my life 10 years later and realize that what I was going through then, does not relate to where I am now, so really would it have helped me? Probably not.
The Lord has really been convicting me to just enjoy the life He has given me, here and now. Why am I so eager to rush things? I have a great husband, (the best in the world to me) a wonderful family, a nice home, a good job,... the list goes on and on. As we have been going through The Story at church the last few months, I am reminded of a point that our pastor made about God's story and ours. He said that every story contains an upper story and a lower story. We can only see our lives from our short 6 ft. perspective, but God sees the upper part of our story from His perspective.
Take Moses for an example. When God asked him to lead the people into the promised land he told the Lord, "I am slow of speech and tongue." To Moses, he was not the man for the job. He felt inadequate. However, God could see in His upper story, that Moses had quality leadership skills and had the capacity to lead the people into freedom. I was thinking about how this related to my life as I am always questioning when or how this or that will happen, when I know full well that God and God alone is in control. He already knows the ending, because He's already there. I could do everything in the world to make things happen the way I think they should, but ultimately, it is up to Him. If I am going to daily surrender my life to Him, I can't say, "Well, I surrender to you, but I am going to do X and Y so things will go my way." When we choose to give our lives to the Lord, He doesn't get some of us, He gets ALL.
A few weeks ago Jeff and I were talking about how the Lord had worked out some things for us, that we put absolutely no effort towards. We talked about just how neat it is to think that God is constantly writing our story and is going to make every piece fall into place. We only see one piece at a time, but God is stitching our lives together into what will one day become a beautiful tapestry. I always think about how neat it will be to one day look back and see how everything fit perfectly together. I have already seen this in my life countless times. If my Mom would have let me go out on that cold winter night, would I even be writing this post right now? If I hadn't gone to that Christian concert with my friend, would I have met Jeff? If I hadn't gone to a friends wedding shower, would I have the job I have now? I could go on and on.
I have seen God's hand on my life over and over again, and know that He is sustaining me daily. Why should I worry and fret when I know full well that the God of the universe is holding me tight in His grip? I know that He is for me, and He promises me in Jeremiah 29:11 that He knows the plans He has for me. Plans to prosper me and not to harm me. Plans to give me hope and a future. I think it's time that I passed the pen to Him and let Him continue to write the story of my life. I know it's going to be a great adventure!